Life is full of simple obvious tasks that require a bit of focus and discipline. But if you get them right, they can make the difference between average and exceptional. Perhaps it’s like getting up on time?

Networking is like that.

I’ve been in London for seven years and been to a variety of networking events. Yet even at large ones, I still don’t get many emails or connections afterwards.  When I began writing this article I began to wonder, am I one of ‘those people’ sensible folk don’t follow up with. You know, the ones with nose hair, bad breath, and no interest in what you are saying. I got a bit worried and checked in with a few people I’d met at a recent event and discovered to my relief that I was simply normal, and had a long way to go before they would consider me unworthy. And in fact, simply they hadn’t got round to following up.

I suspect that networking is a bit like homework. Sounds like a good idea, but when it comes to actually sitting down and doing it, one finds it really tedious and to be avoided. Like diets.

Active listening

I’m constantly referring to the waitresses at the local restaurant as the best listeners around. I like big breakfasts at the café on the weekend, and when I place my order, they always repeat it back to me so I know they understood it correctly. It’s a great relief to know they understood what I wanted. (Even thought I’m a terrible creature of habit and routinely order the same thing).

Focus on being a mirror for them, and feeding their observations back so they know you heard what they said.

Statements:

• So what you are saying is …
• You must have been surprised when…
• I’ll bet you felt really…
• So if I could summarise it seems to you tat

Pace it with:

• “I see”
• “Okay”
• “I understand”
• “That makes sense”
• Avoid waiting to interrupt them with your issues. Exercise patience and don’t rush to judge them.

Once you’ve got the habit of repeating part of what they said, then take it a bit further with.

Building Rapport

This is my favourite thing to do – it’s a bit like gossip. Perhaps I’m a woman at heart? Rapport done well is you empathising with them about their issue. Again all this requires is patience and a bit of discipline.

While queuing at the bank last week, I ran to someone who worked with a former client of mine. She had a tremendous black eye, no way to avoid mentioning it so I jumped right in “If they gave out prizes for black eyes you’d come in first. And she was off, she’d been thrown from a horse while eventing and went into a ditch.

• That must have really hurt!
• Then what did you do?
• Did anyone come help?
• Did you go to the hospital?
• How did you get home?

Notice that I wasn’t offering unsolicited advice on how to prevent such mishaps in the future, or recommend resources she could go to for help. When you do, you are attempting to solve an emotional issue.

The ideal customer

By now you’ve developed a degree of trust and rapport with the person and it’s time to ask the question: how do you determine who would make a good customer? Or in professional selling terminology its – how do you qualify your prospects? And the reply will typically include:

• Budget – are they
• Authority – who makes the decision and how to identify them
• Need – is there a need expressed?
• Timescale – is there a compelling event coming up?
• Location – are they located in an area of interest to me?
• Sector
• Industry
• Size – often headcount will size an opportunity-

You will want to do the same. Interestingly I’ve just been through this exercise with three other businesses where we met, explained each other’s offer in some depth, and exchanged qualification profiles of what we look for in a good prospect.

Goals and objectives

Favour Bank

• Currencies
• Ask for help
• Offer assistance

Things I’ve found helpful

Writing notes on back of card: where when, key notes about them. I’ve been considering making a dedicated card for networking occasions with my photo on the back. On a busy night I can come back with thirty cards, and remembering who is who on the best of evenings can be a challenge. Business card scanner, but many people’s cards don’t scan well. I keep a wee notepad in case either of us runs out of cards, or in case we want to share recipes/anything worth recording.

Online

I have accounts on Ecademy.com, Soflow.com and Linkedin.com.

What’s different?

My working style ultimately precludes using a web-based system. I’m crazy busy during the day, working on site with clients. While it is appropriate for me to take some time out for non-client activity, email messaging and managing online activity can be time consuming at best.

I like going out, and am a complete enthusiast in that I will say yes to most evening networking invitations. Since I work on site, it’s not possible to make daytime networking sessions. I simply don’t know what happens at those.

By Tom Kahrl,
Change Management Consultant, Ikonica

Email: tkahrl@ikonica.net
Web: http://www.ikonica.net